From the Church Bulletins across the state....  UPDATED !
May this lighten your day.

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on  the Water." The sermon  tonight:
"Searching for Jesus."

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale.  It's a chance to get rid of  those
things not worth keeping around the house.  Don't forget your  husbands."

The cost for attending the Fasting and  Prayer Conference includes meals.

Our youth basketball team is back in  action Wednesday at 8 pm in the
recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

Next Saturday night is the family hay ride and  bonfire at the Moore's.  Bring
your own kosher hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome!  Everyone come for a  fun

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to
a conflict.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for  the choir. They need all the help
they can get.

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more  transfusions.   She is also having trouble sleeping and  requests tapes of Pastor Ben's  sermons.

During the absence of our Pastor, we  enjoyed the rare privilege of
hearing  a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied  our pulpit.

The Minister  will preach his farewell  message after which the choir will
sing,   "Break Forth into  Joy."

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our congregation.

Smile at someone who is hard to love.  Say, "hell" to someone who doesn't
care much about you.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were  married on October 24 in the church.
So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday  evening in the church hall. Music  will  follow.

At the evening service tonight, the  sermon topic will be "What is Hell?"
Come early and listen to our choir  practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently  needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of  some older ones.

The senior choir invites any member of  the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles  and other items to be recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple  children.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased  person(s)  you want remembered.

Attend and you will hear an excellent  speaker and heave a healthy  lunch.

The church will host an evening of fine  dining, superb entertainment,
and gracious hostility.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5 pm -- prayer and  medication to follow.

This evening at 7 pm there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the
church. Bring a blanket and come prepared  to sin.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday  morning at 10. All ladies are
invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the  B.S. is done.

The pastor would appreciate it if the  ladies of the congregation would
lend  him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Saturday morning.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet  Thursday at 7 pm. Please use the
back door.

The eighth-graders will be presenting  Shakespeare's Hamlet in the
Church basement Friday at 7 pm. The Congregation is  invited to attend
this tragedy.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 pm at the  Headquarters Church.
Please use large double doors at the side entrance.

Mrs. Johnson will be entering the  hospital this week for testes.

The Associate Minister unveiled the  church's new tithing campaign slogan
last Saturday "I Upped My Pledge -- Up  Yours."

Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard  Get High."

Live, love and laugh often.